2020
In spite of
'In spite of' was a common phrase that I used a lot during 2020. 'In spite of COVID 19, we have done well' or 'In spite of losing my grandmother, I am happy that she is finally at rest' - I could characterize last year as a year that was anchored in loss - loss of time, loss of routine, loss of loved ones. 'In spite of' is an expression that describes the contrast between two things. I found myself describing my situation and trying to hope in the what I felt was a hopeless situation. I think that this mantra, this approach was key in helping me get through 2020. Here are some highlights of hope (both personal and professional) that I have taken away from 2020.
SERVICE
The action of helping or doing work for someone
I used to measure my service according the time I invested. As the opportunities to lead have grown and the nature of how I have lead, I know that time is not enough to help me serve. How I use my time, how intentional I am about what I am doing and thinking ahead of time has been influenced how I serve. The first lockdown in March 2020 was great for many reasons. I was able to really focus on what I needed to, my subject area and how to support the team I work with. Taking the time to design my online learning program, making it accessible and relevant helped how I served my students online and in person. Eliminating the 'noise' that I was so accustomed to on site (demands of pastoral needs of students) and focusing on my core job and supporting my colleagues with their job impacted my service. My 'service' was directed by reacting to issues and concerns. The lockdown repurposed my service in my job and it became more proactive.
CLARITY
The quality of being coherent and intelligible
The older I get, the more I crave for clarity. It does not matter what the situation, I desire to know and understand what I need to do, where I need to be and what I have to get, in any circumstance. A takeaway from 2020 for me was 'clarity'. In my personal life there were certain things that I was involved with that I did out of obligation. The 'obligation' really tainted how I served, it also affected my lens and how I saw myself in the space. This confusion was incredibly frustrating and I went around in circles trying to figure out why I was annoyed. I lacked clarity, I lacked the quality of being coherent and transparent with my 'why' and this was a result of doing things out of 'obligation'. The condition of my heart was clouded. 2020 was a year that was both uncertain but in that uncertainty, clarity surfaced. Uncertainty, for me, was a result of things I was associated with that didn't matter. The clarity came through serious reflection and I gave myself the time to do this during the lockdown.
PATIENCE
The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious
How you wait can influence how you experience the process. I have learnt that waiting well is key and what that looks like is different for everyone. Waiting for students to comply, waiting for assessments to be completed, waiting for my pay to come through - any circumstance where I have found myself 'waiting' is a test. I am impatient and I want to see results and if I cannot see results I want to know how I can get there. I learnt in 2020 that waiting is necessary, it builds resilience and it encourages you to really appreciate the process, the journey. I remember waiting for the lockdown restrictions to change, the want to go beyond my own suburb was something else. In waiting I appreciated the life that was and the new normal that I was experiencing. How I wait, for anything, is important and I learnt that in 2020.
GRATITUDE
The quality of being thankful
I am really grateful for good health, good relationships hope and for growth. I am particularly grateful for the work that my Year 11 cohort and every single teacher assigned to them achieved in 2020. 'In spite of' everything that came with 2020 I am completely full in seeing the hard work and effort of Year 11 2020 come into fruition. It was a long journey but the perseverance, resilience and determination to continue is something that I am admire. Super proud of these kids! I am grateful for the lessons learned and even for the difficult events that I experienced.
HOPE
A feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen
My hope for 2021 is to keep what went well, continue to work on and fix what needs improvement. I am not going to commit to a specific set of things that I want to change, but I do know firsthand that I want to continue to change my attitude towards situations and circumstances that change. My hope to grow in both my family, in my personal faith journey, in my marriage, in my workplace is something that I continue to put at the forefront. I am looking forward to the journey of 2021.
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