Week 3 Term 4 - EXIT WELL

As the final term for 2020 progresses a sense of fatigue, laziness, burn-out and feeling drained looms. This is the time of the year where for some, the pressure of trying to fulfill all of the 'new years resolutions' and work commitments continues to mount up. This pressure, for some is the catalyst for success as the added pressure helps some work well. For others (like myself) the pressure can at times feel a little overwhelming and you just want to sit back and hope that every will magically fall into place. Good luck. Nine times out of ten this is usually not the case and as the pressure increases you eventually cave in and spend a few days cramming what should have been done throughout the year, all in the span of 48 hours (yep, I have been there many times!)

I know how to start things well - a conversation, a prayer, a late night 'dinner' of noodles - but finishing the task can often be something that I either rush or leave in the air hanging. I like talking, like deep and meaningful conversations. Finding a way to close the conversation or make connections when I go off topic can become a bit of a barrier for me and I get nervous or awkward and the conversation often sits in a strange place. I love prayer - this is my time to reflect, to give thanks, to nag, to be open and to celebrate - I always find it hard to finish my prayer. I overthink it and think that I need to quote scripture or I forget family members that I need to pray for because I have spent the most part praying for myself, so it all ends up in a fumbled mess and I start apologizing to GOD. Noodles - we have all had them. This is my go to when I am hungry and can't be bothered going to the shop or actually making something worthwhile because it requires real effort (HA). Noodles is the quick fix - for me the process to making noodles is really simple and at first my intentions at the start are great. Waiting for the noodles to soften then to add the flavoring and mix it all - somewhere in the process I get fed up waiting and just rush it all. The result is usually a strange slodge of overcooked noodles, clumpy flavored powder and uneven splashes of soy sauce. 

Now in writing and reading over this, I can acknowledge that I can be very awkward, lazy and impatient when it comes to conversations, prayer and making noodles - but underneath my strange examples of inadequacy I am seeing that my approach and attitude to a 'process' is flawed. It can be better. It has to be better. How we finish, how we close and how we exit any process is important. The exit to anything we have our name next to can determine how we experience a process. It will either bring closure or it can create confusion. My wife shared an article with me about this very thing and I am going to reshare it to my students - with some much adjustments to make it relevant - because it is a vital message - HOW to exit well. I have been telling my students to finish the year well, do not waste time - all of that and more. I think they need to know HOW to do this in order for this to work. 

So here are the 5 steps on HOW to finish the year well that I have taken away from the reading that I want to share with my students. 

1. OWN YOUR PIECE OF THE PIE

Great things come from honest conversations in which people take responsibility [Carey Nieuwhof]

When we are on the verge of finishing the academic year, it is so easy to place blame on anyone and everyone with our failures and never look inside. 

I want to encourage to students (my Year 11 students in particular) to have those conversations -either with me or their teachers - to see what their problem is and how this might relate to others or even more importantly to their learning. Reviewing what the issues were in their learning and owning their part of the pie too.

2. TALK TO SOMEONE

Too many people leave without a conversation [Carey Nieuwhof]

I spoke earlier about not being able to finish my conversations well, I tend to fumble at the best of times especially with my students. I can bring up an issue that happened two years ago and go off in a different direction, only to remember that the conversation was initially focused on how many credits do they have? Regardless - communication is important. It can bridge two completely different worlds and although the understand might be murky, the communication is there. 

I want to encourage my students to talk to their teachers - understand what they need to do finish, understand what they can do better and understand what has been successful. Finishing assessments and getting the credits is great and it is crucial. Talking to the people that have helped them and supported them is just as important. Teaching is about relationships. It is about people. Communication is needed. 

3. CLARIFY THE PROBLEM

A misunderstanding can be clarified. More information, an apology, or a new perspective can often move a person from being upset to being at peace quickly [Carey Nieuwhof]

The focus of the article I read was focussed on people wanting to leave the church and how to exit well. Often when people leave something that they have worked in, an issue is often the crux of the exit. For my students, I am not going to assume that everyone has had a huge problem or issue. But I do know that everyone's learning journey has had it's fair share of issues, barriers, problems and challenges. 

Clarifying what the issue to their learning is and understanding what their place is in it can really help shift the perspective. It can help them understanding their place of blame with their failures or challenges does not always sit in the hands of others but that they are responsible as well. 

4. LEAVE WITH GRACE

Say goodbye well. Don't burn relational bridges. [Carey Nieuwhof]

I want to encourage my students to be grateful for the opportunities that they have in school, to appreciate and affirm the good in what they see and do in school. For some it will be a hard pill swallow but it is important to remind that at some point this year, they thought school was awesome and they enjoyed it. "If you really want to know what the standard is for exiting with grace, ask yourself: Five years from now, what will I wish I had done? That question clarifies so much." [Carey Nieuwhof]

5. FIND + COMMIT TO MORE GOALS

Your goal is not consume the church but to be the church [Carey Nieuwhof]

I want encourage my students to continue to be inspired and to really focus on their goals when it comes to their learning. To not think that learning stops at school but life-long learning is what it is all about. Learn from failure, learn from others, to follow before you can lead. 

This message can often get lost in the the everyday hustle and bustle of administration, data reviewing etc that comes along with the job of teaching. But it is important for me to make this clear. At the end of the day, these credits and the experience of school is for the students. I want their experience to be one that is fun but also meaningful.