Week 3 Term 2 - My choices.

I started this week off by talking to my colleagues about our highlight and low-light with online learning. A common challenge that we all experienced and commented on is the disengagement from our senior students.  For me personally I have noticed that my Level 2 students have become increasingly disconnected with my online learning program - for some, they are literally disconnected from online learning while others are choosing to remain in isolation from anything related to learning. I had to really think about why this is happening and reflect on what I can do better, who I need to speak to, make sure that my feedback is valuable and understandable for the student. Ultimately what I had to do was to choose courage over complaining (something that I enjoy to do - daily).

Now do not get me wrong, I am fully aware of my shortcomings and acknowledge that these emotional choices are bold and often hard to commit to. Especially as a teacher, the patience required to fulfill my choose courage over complaining can be tested when my students choose sleeping-in over learning. However I do know that I need to make this kind of commitment, I need to phrase it in a way that will stick and hopefully help me get through.

I went through the usual order of contacting home, talking to parents, talking to students, emailing students - the whole nine yards. What I noticed from the conversations was that for a lot of my senior students, they have not been accessing online learning because they do not know how to. My initial response to this was frustration. But I soon figured out that for many of my learners, online learning is a new world for them. My junior classes seem to have fallen right into it. My seniors on the other hand, Level 2 students in particular, needed some '101 how to access my google hangout' lessons. Instead of complaining, I have had to make time to show them how to get connected. In a strange way, the lesson for me in all of this was that they had to find the 'courage' to admit why they were absent. It can be difficult to admit your shortcomings, your failures, your mistakes in fear of being judged or ridiculed.

I assumed that my senior students would engage online, that they would thrive online, that they would know how to connect without any assistance. Working on your own, at home, online during a nation wide lock down, in the midst of a global pandemic is a completely new space, it could throw anyone off. So as I have taken courage over complaining, I have also had to practice compassion over frustration. To literally 'be kind' (as our Prime Minister has encouraged all New Zealanders to practice) and to be patient with this new normal.

As I reflect on courage, compassion, and patience - I think about this time two years ago when all of that was put to the test. On this day two years ago (May 1st 2018) my first born, my daughter was born. On this day two years ago my daughter, too young to survive, was called to Heaven. Today she turns two. Today, I celebrate her life with complete pride, joy and deep love. My wife shared a Bible verse that speaks of the courage that I aspire to have. Psalms 31:24 "Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all who wait for the Lord". LET YOUR HEART TAKE COURAGE - it is a choice, a decision, a new approach that we CAN make. Here is to living life where we can make better choices. Choosing courage over complaining.

I dedicate this reflection to my daughter, Faith.