Week 3 Term 2 - My choices.

I started this week off by talking to my colleagues about our highlight and low-light with online learning. A common challenge that we all experienced and commented on is the disengagement from our senior students.  For me personally I have noticed that my Level 2 students have become increasingly disconnected with my online learning program - for some, they are literally disconnected from online learning while others are choosing to remain in isolation from anything related to learning. I had to really think about why this is happening and reflect on what I can do better, who I need to speak to, make sure that my feedback is valuable and understandable for the student. Ultimately what I had to do was to choose courage over complaining (something that I enjoy to do - daily).

Now do not get me wrong, I am fully aware of my shortcomings and acknowledge that these emotional choices are bold and often hard to commit to. Especially as a teacher, the patience required to fulfill my choose courage over complaining can be tested when my students choose sleeping-in over learning. However I do know that I need to make this kind of commitment, I need to phrase it in a way that will stick and hopefully help me get through.

I went through the usual order of contacting home, talking to parents, talking to students, emailing students - the whole nine yards. What I noticed from the conversations was that for a lot of my senior students, they have not been accessing online learning because they do not know how to. My initial response to this was frustration. But I soon figured out that for many of my learners, online learning is a new world for them. My junior classes seem to have fallen right into it. My seniors on the other hand, Level 2 students in particular, needed some '101 how to access my google hangout' lessons. Instead of complaining, I have had to make time to show them how to get connected. In a strange way, the lesson for me in all of this was that they had to find the 'courage' to admit why they were absent. It can be difficult to admit your shortcomings, your failures, your mistakes in fear of being judged or ridiculed.

I assumed that my senior students would engage online, that they would thrive online, that they would know how to connect without any assistance. Working on your own, at home, online during a nation wide lock down, in the midst of a global pandemic is a completely new space, it could throw anyone off. So as I have taken courage over complaining, I have also had to practice compassion over frustration. To literally 'be kind' (as our Prime Minister has encouraged all New Zealanders to practice) and to be patient with this new normal.

As I reflect on courage, compassion, and patience - I think about this time two years ago when all of that was put to the test. On this day two years ago (May 1st 2018) my first born, my daughter was born. On this day two years ago my daughter, too young to survive, was called to Heaven. Today she turns two. Today, I celebrate her life with complete pride, joy and deep love. My wife shared a Bible verse that speaks of the courage that I aspire to have. Psalms 31:24 "Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all who wait for the Lord". LET YOUR HEART TAKE COURAGE - it is a choice, a decision, a new approach that we CAN make. Here is to living life where we can make better choices. Choosing courage over complaining.

I dedicate this reflection to my daughter, Faith.

Week 2 Term 2 - My reflection.

Everyday I try to read through my daily devotionals. Whether it is the first thing I do when I get to work (or in this case, the first thing I do when I go to my make-shift office in my changing room) or throughout the day. I try to set time to read through my word of encouragement. If you are anything like me, my motivation and will is influenced by what I read (my devotions, Bible), the people who I love and ultimately in my 'faith' in God.

The message from my devotional on Monday morning was 'giants fade'. 'Giants' that we face in life can be constant fear, anxiety, depression, doubt, questioning your worth - just to name a few. The thing is that the more we feed this 'Giant', the longer it will stay. The more we allow this 'giant' to control how we think, how we relate, how we love, how we speak, how we live - the more we loose our grounding, our strength. The message concludes with "when we ask for God's help, even if these giants aren't destroyed, completely or immediately, their power will fade as our relationship with Him grows deeper". Hence the message 'giants fade' - they do not stay, they do not have to hold power over you. 

Woah! I was not prepared or ready for that but that was exactly what I needed to hear heading into week 2 of Term 2. One of the many 'giants' I had experienced in week 1 was wondering if I could make an impact with my learners online. I became really worried at the end of week 1, stressing about the achievement outcome for my senior students and for my Y11 cohort. Can they access their online learning? Are they asking for help? Am I doing enough? Do I need call home and talk to the parents? Have I added everything that I need to on my Google site? I tell you , the questioning went on and they began to form into this 'giant' that I did not know how to face. The devotional I read though really made me reflect and understand that these questions, this 'giant', is something that I do have an element of authority over. I can make an impact, I just need to change my approach. Instead of question and doubt, just prepare everything, be intentional about what I want each lesson to look like for my students and have a clear finish line in mind. Communicate this with my students, then hope for the best! 

So, I sit here at 10:22pm, still on my laptop and thinking about my highlights and low lights for week 2. 

Highlights: 

• One of my Level 3 students has completed their first Level 3 English internal assessment! 1 down, 26 to go. 
• English Department - I am working alongside a great team of educators. I am enjoying seeing how we are building this department together. We have some great meetings and have started to work with each member individually on how they will work with their students who are not achieving. It has been enlightening and a definite highlight! 

Low lights: 

• Concern over students who are absent, not accessing their online learning and in turn not achieving. My low light is exactly that. It is not the end. It is not final. Only if I allow it to be.

I am going into this weekend with the same attitude and approach. An approach that will focus on finding a solution to the problem, an approach that will try its best to stop meddling with the problem and instead try and see the end result as oppose to feeling that I have stopped at a dead end. An approach that will look forward to and enjoy the process of online learning. An approach that will remind me that 'giants' fade. 

Trying to 'walk' the 'talk' - my random thoughts.

One of my responsibilities as Co-HOD of English is the managing of teacher appraisal. Something that I have grown to really appreciate and something that I am genuinely interested in. I am interested in understanding who my colleagues are, their inquiry topics and what their goals are. I think I enjoy it because if anything I learn so much from them. 

When speaking to my colleagues we often talk about what their inquiry is and what is the action that they should take in pursuing their inquiry. Earlier in Term 1 the Curriculum Committee discussed teacher's theories of action when focusing on student achievement. I wrote a few notes which I have tried to apply in my own practice and in particular, in the discourse with my colleagues when we are talking about finding a solution to the problem - what is the action required? What do we need to do? Who is responsible to drive this?  

Here are some of the ideas I had when inquiring into teacher's theories of action: 

1) Deep level engagement: Define problem

Often our scope of the big picture can be marred by our perspective, how we see it. Look at the trends, patterns and data when focusing on student achievement, keep it factual then you can find an accurate gap that needs attention.  

2) From here one needs to define what the problem is. 

Avoid trying to address every single issue. What is the major concern? What needs immediate intervention? 

3) Create dialogue.

When working with a team, it is crucial that the team feel safe and comfortable to participate in healthy discussions. It is imperative that the team also agrees on the problem and that together, the team needs to work as a cohesive unit. Some key questions to consider when one wants to create healthy and professional dialogue with the team are: 

• What is the problem?
• How do you feel?
• Why?
• What do we need to do?
• What evidence do you have?

4) What are my theories, values and beliefs around collaborative inquiry? 

Collaboration is only effective if you are confident in your area, respectful of others and what they bring to the area, you can agree to disagree and you embrace working "WITH" others. 

I hope to carry this level of enlightenment in all conversations with my colleagues when we collaborate. 

Week 1 Term 2 - Done and dusted.

New Zealand is in the third week of lock-down and all educational institutions across the nation are closed. On April 15, week 1 of Term 2 started and it was a very unique beginning, as children and educators ventured into online learning. 

Vigorous preparation was required beforehand. Setting up google sites, updating information, integrating google hangouts as a digital classroom space, opening all online platforms to the public so that not only students but parents and caregivers can access the learning, making real use of google calendars as a marker for students and their families to refer to and check what each lesson is going to focus on. This was a task but for me personally it was something that I needed. Working from home has completely cut off all the noise and chaos (that I would normally find myself  running after when I am on site) and in turn, my focus has solely been on my core job, teaching. 

This week alone, I have been able to invest my time in finding creative ways to make subject of English relevant and accessible for my learners. Online learning and the different platforms offered to our learners were not so much of a priority for me before the lock-down. Now that we have to teach online, I now see and understand that these tools can be powerful if you are smart about how you use them. They can have impact if you are intentional on how you want your learners to see it and use it. 

Google classroom is one platform that I started using in week 9 of term 1. I have found this platform to be more interactive as students can post and comment, much like the social media platforms that we are accustomed to (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter). In particular my Level 3 students have taken a liking to this platform and some have even shared articles that they have read and found helpful for their internal assessments. Some are asking questions or just simply acknowledging my posts (nice to know that kids can like something that I have posted ha!) This type of interaction and discourse between learner and teacher is something that I enjoy. 

Something that I have taken away from our first week online is that I want this discourse to continue. How can I ensure that students feel comfortable enough to share or ask questions in a digital space? Normally for our young people whether they have been in the middle of online bullying or not, the digital space can often be a ground of ridicule. It can be a nasty space for them. So if anything, when it comes to the digital space that I am in charge of for my learners, I want to ensure that it is a place where their learning and their achievement is the focus - nothing else. 

I look forward to what week 2 will be bring.