Week 11 Term 1 - Writer's block

I have had my fair share of driving over potholes on my way to work. Every time I have drive over the potholes I get a shock, it breaks the smoothness of the drive and throws me off my train of thought. I tend to drift in and out of my morning reflections while I am driving - what I need to do, who I need to see and more importantly what do I want for dinner. The sudden hit of the pothole while I am driving breaks my reflection and I am immediately brought back into the reality of Auckland traffic and poor road conditions. This seemingly minor 'first world problem' has at the best of times blocked me from my daily morning mental ritual and I (for the most part) struggle to see past it for the remainder of my drive to work and all I can think about is the pothole and potential damage to my tyres. Why am I talking about this? I see writer's block as a pothole. Currently I am sitting in my class trying to think of what to write for my last post of Term 1 2021. There is a lot going on professionally and personally but I cannot seem to grasp any of it and cannot find anything to inspire me to write. I figured writing about 'writer's block' will me find some sense in what I want to write. 

Jeff Goins writes "The reasons for your block may vary, but some common ones include:
Timing: It's simply not the right time to write. Your ideas may need to stew a little longer before writing them down.
Fear: Many writers struggle with being afraid, with putting their ideas (and themselves) out there for everyone to see and critique. Fear is a major reason some writers never become writers.
Perfectionism: You want everything to be just right before you ever put pen to paper or touch a keyboard. You try to get it perfect in your head and never do, so you never begin. To help you through this, we created Don't Hit Publish. It's a free tool that tells you if your blog post is good enough to publish and also give you tips on how to improve it."

My mind right now is not in any state to reflect or inspire, to be completely honest I am just tired and hungry. But in my writing condition and in reading Jeff Goin's reasons for writer's block I feel inspired to reflect on how these reasons hold some meaning in my journey in Term 1. Is it safe to say that my writer's block has been cured? We will see. 

TIMING

the choice, judgement, or control of when something should be done

Time management is something that I struggle with. As I have mentioned in my earlier post, prioritizing is an approach that I have adopted in my daily routine and in return I have a new sense of organization in my life. Key word - prioritizing - has been vital for me, to put things in order of importance rather than convenience. The timing of certain events in Term 1 has been challenging - with two lockdowns alone - my time in the last 11 weeks have been focused on prioritized learning and meeting the deadline. I am really pleased with the progress that my junior and senior classes have made this term. We have focused on meeting our deadlines in terms of assessments and most are going to be finishing the term with 3 credits at least. I am grateful that the timing in my junior and senior programs have been driven by the goal of completing assessments. It has given the students a sense of purpose and knowing what they are doing, more importantly it has given them a sense of achievement. 

FEAR

an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

There has been an element of fear this term. The fear of the 'unknown' or 'what if' with the two lockdowns. I am not traumatized by the lockdown but I have struggled to deal with the 'stop/start' nature of this term. With Polyfest looming around the corner (literally in 4 days) I have been worried about possibility of another cancellation. With my writing I am become worried about not meeting my weekly posts and I think in a sense that has taken the joy out of writing for me. I am looking forward to the holiday because I am hoping to regain some sense of normalcy, regroup and get back to reading so that I an be inspired to write again. 

PERFECTIONISM

refusal to accept any standard short of perfection

We all aspire to be great, we all want great things in our lives - perfection and excellence is an aspiration. Is it a reality? No. I think being a perfectionist can be powerful if you use this as drive to motivate yourself. If it becomes a measure on how you see yourself or compare yourself to others, it can be destructive. As an amateur writer I have dealt with the dilemma with trying to make everything I write perfect. I have learnt that the most important audience for me as a writer is myself. Is what I am writing spark some kind of joy or inspiration for myself? I write for myself, to reflect and learn, in all of it's imperfections. In the last leg of our campaign for Polyfest 2021, the aim for perfection and excellence with the performance is high. I have learnt very quickly that while this goal is good in terms of creating a good work ethic, it is important not to measure yourself to a standard that this impossible to achieve. 'Doing your best' is the approach to perfection. 

Jeff Goins provides some creative solutions on what to do when faced with writer's block. He writes "

• Go for a walk.
• Eliminate distractions (I use Ommwriter to focus on just writing).
• Do something to get your blood flowing. (I like running.)
• Play. (My personal preference is LEGOS.)
• Change your environment.
• Read a book.
• Freewrite.
• Listen to music (try classical or jazz to mix it up).
• Brew some coffee (my personal favorite).
• Create a routine. Many famous writers have daily routines to summon the Muse.
• Spend time with someone who makes you feel good.
• Call an old friend.
• Brainstorm ideas in bullet points.
• Read some inspiring quotes to get you started"

I look forward to going on term break, to try out these creative solutions and come back refreshed and renewed. 

Week 10 Term 1 - Last Leg

The term 'last leg' - as I have learnt via Google - was coined in a play The Old Law (1599) by Thomas Middleton and Philip Massinger. In the play the line reads as "My husband goes upon his last hour now - on his last legs, I am sure." If something is on it's last leg, this often means that it has left in a bad condition and it will not longer be in a useful state. Whether it is an object or one's health, this term is often used to describe the final stages of something. 

As Term 1 comes to an end I think of the state of my mental and emotional well-being - in it's last leg before the school holidays. Am I tired, drained, relieved, overwhelmed (slightly), over it? Yes. Teaching is a job that is both rewarding and demanding. It is a job where the rewards are few and far between - but the journey and everything that comes along with it is a fulfilling learning experience. In saying this, it is a journey that requires an degree of resilience and patience. My tolerance and my patience is always tested during the 'last leg' of the term and it all stems from a place where I want to tick all my boxes, I want my students to commit to their learning and finish what they need to - ultimately I want to finish well. I do not want to close the term and things are left in a bad condition. The question for me right now is 'How can this be achieved?'

PRIORITISE

Determine the order for dealing with (a series of items or tasks) according to their relative importance.

Prioritizing what is important is key. In order to ensure that this final stage in the term is set up well, I have organize what is most important in terms of my learning program for my students and for my own professional calendar. I have never been one to prioritize and make lists - I was that guy, take it as it comes and deal with it then and there. I cannot function like that anymore and have taken a real liking to post it notes and making lists. Where was this guy 5 years ago?! 

For my students - prioritize - is a term I use daily. It something that I show them daily through referring to our calendar, in reviewing our program and the progress (or lack) that they have made. It might be the teacher in me (something my wife reminds me of daily - I am always reflecting). But it is good practice as it helps to give perspective. 

What I am reflecting on is not rocket science. I think that writing about it is a positive outlet. It is a reminder on what I need to do more of and how I can use this to improve my own outlook on the last leg of term 1. I am looking forward to the end of this term. I know exactly how I want it to end and what I want it to look like. 

NON NEGOTIABLE

Non-negotiables are the things you will not negotiate on. They follow your values and principles and define not only what you will and won’t accept from others, but also what you will and won’t accept from yourself.

Sticking to the plan and not deterring from it has been beneficial for me this term. With two lockdowns thrown into the mix, this term has had it's fare share of curveballs. I have not compromised deadlines or due dates with my senior classes. Have I had to make some amendments - yes - however I have not allowed the lockdown to deflect my students in not completing their assessments. I have learnt from 2020 and how lockdown can have an impact on student achievement. So the time in class with the students is crucial. The learning, the outcome and the achievement is one thing that do not want to negotiate with it. I am pleased that for both classes, I have around 5 students out of 20 who have not achieved. This is good as I have majority with credits already banked for term 1. It has set them up already and now the focus on is on their new text and their new assessment - ready for term 2. 

Personally I have a list of six non-negotiable items that I need to complete weekly. This is a goal of mine (that I set at the beginning of the year) and one that I am determined to fulfill by the end of week 11. These non-negotiable items cover my teaching, HOD and Whanau leader roles. Completing these items gives me a sense of achievement but more importantly a sense of purpose. It keeps me on track and I know that I can move onto to the next. I hope to continue this into term 2. 

This has worked well for me personally and with my students. The process and the expectations are clear and for me at least, I know what I need to do. This makes the last leg of this term clear in terms of where I need to be. 

Again - this is not rocket science. But the more I reflect on this, I understand and know where I can make improvements. At the same time I can really appreciate what has been accomplished and understand that this sense of being overwhelmed is not in vein. I am looking forward to finishing this last leg of the term. Not just finishing it but finishing it well.